now i know why i became what i already was.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
