Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
