I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
