she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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