SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
