I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
