I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
