its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
