11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
