If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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