If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
