big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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