"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
