Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
