Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
