there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
