I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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