things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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