We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
