i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
