i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
