You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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