marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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