im drinking this country out of the recession.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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