Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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