Cold hands, warm shart.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
