They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
