i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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