Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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