And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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