Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
