my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
