Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
