another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
