pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
