How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
