And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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