her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
