Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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