i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
