We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
