I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
