Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
