I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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