When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
