everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
bring money and cleavage
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
