I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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