Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
