one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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