CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
