I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
